First of all, I am a Catholic; born and raised that way. I went to Catholic elementary school and junior high. I have come to believe that God is truly our Creator and Savior and His Love for us is unconditional. He has the best plan for us if we just give ourselves to Him. He's got our backs. It has been a long journey it seems and I have been silent about my experiences. Now I cannot keep my mouth shut. The Glory of God is too awesome for me to do that. I want all those who read this to know that there is a God. There just has to be. He has so much to offer and He has given me so many blessings. It is my sincerest desire for everyone to come to believe in this amazing God I call my friend, so you may experience the peace, happiness, and joy I have had and still have in Him. It takes away all the pain, worry, and doubts of this world. I pray that you may come to believe.
Recently, My friends mom, let's call her "A" invited me to come with her to a Healing Mass. A Healing Mass is like a regular Mass service, but you go up to be prayed over by the priest for healing. I had never gone to a Healing Mass before but I decided it would be a good time to go and pray for my Grandma who was fighting a serious and rare case of cancer at the time and just recently passed away. The cancer was stage 4 and terminal so I wanted to go and pray for her healing because there was nothing else the doctors could do.The day came for the Healing Mass. I made sure I visited Grandma before and then "A" picked me up and brought me to the Church. The Mass started at 7 o'clock but we were a little late. "A" hates being late. I walked into the church that day with a heavy heart. I was desperate for Grandma. Little did I know about the events that were going to take place. I did not think that this would be the night I would have the most powerful experience of my life. God had special plans.
Throughout the Mass, I kept praying for her. I prayed to not make my being there about me but about her. Time came for the Homily and boy did the priest, let's call him Father, have a good one. The Homily is a time where the priest takes the time to talk to the congregation, mainly to teach us a lesson relevant in our times about the Bible readings read to us before. He started talking and I could relate almost everything he was saying to the situation with my grandma. He talked about Lazerus, who is mentioned in the Bible as someone raised from the dead by Jesus. "WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN! YOU WILL SEE THE GLORY OF GOD!" Father exclaimed. He spoke with such conviction, passion, and sincerity that it inspired so much Hope and Faith in me. I immediately started to think about my Grandma. I fully believed that God could cure my Grandma if it was His will! That could actually happen!! Once I realized this I broke down in tears. I tried to hold them back but I couldn't. What I was thinking about and feeling in my heart was too overwhelming. I have teared up before in church but never have I broken down like that. Father continued to speak about miraculous things, like raising people from the dead and curing diseases, actually happened today in places like Africa and other developing countries. The Faith, Hope, and Love in and for God in those countries were so genuine and passionate that many miracles took place. 10,000 people would go to the Healing Masses instead of the 30 to 40 people that were sitting in the Church that day.
He then started to talk about the terrible tragedy at the Boston Marathon. He asked, " How many times are these things going to happen before we start believing and living our lives for God." I have realized that God does not make these things happen. These things happen when people choose to do things their way instead of God's way. These things happen when people are not focusing on God and not participating in His Love. If we created society where living for God is the only way, then these things would never happen. The love that was shown after the tragedy is what we should be participating in all the time. Selfless Love. The compassion and love Father had in his voice was utterly inspiring.
Father said if you open yourself to God, if you completely open yourself up to God, you will see and experience His Glory, just like the people in Africa. I prayed to God to take me and use me to show people His Glory. I started thinking up some seemingly impossible and miraculous scenarios in my head about Grandma. I imagined getting a call from one of my family members saying, " The cancer is gone!" I imagined being prayed over and then getting the cancer that was in Grandma's body put into mine, and then speaking at graduation to the entire senior class and their family members and friends, with Grandma by my side, my story, before dying shortly after. The funny thing was that I was absolutely content with that happening if it was God's Will. I truly believed it would be for the best as long as I was letting God use me. I was in tears for the rest of the duration of Mass.
Here's where it starts to get intense. Time had come to lineup to get prayed over. I stood and waited anxiously. Something caught my eye on the giant Crucifix they had in front of the Church so my focus was on it the whole time I stood in line. It looked like a chip of wood had come off Jesus's shoulder. I don't know if I was seeing things but it kept my focus on The Cross. I was anxious because I had never been to a Healing Mass before and sometimes when people get prayed over, they fall down. This is called being "slain in The Spirit." They fall down motionless while a group of people behind them carefully catch them and place them on the ground. So every time I felt anxious, I prayed "do not let my human mind get in the way of whatever you got planned for me. Take me and use me for Your Glory." I do not remember how many times I prayed this but I went over it so many times in my head that it turned into a constant desire within me crying out from my heart.
Then I walked up to the spot where Father would pray over me. I continued to pray, "Lord, take me." It was my turn. Father walked over to me. I was about to tell him that I was there in the place of my Grandma, but something kept me from saying it, and at that moment, as I was thinking about my Grandma, Father put his hand on my forehead and I went down, eyes closed and motionless. A lady, who I will talk about in a later post, said I went down with tears in my eyes. I felt the arms and hands of the people behind me, lay me down. My body began to tremble, shiver, and shake as if I was cold, but I wasn't. I was breathing very heavily. Every time I took a breath in, it felt as if a peaceful and loving power was filling my chest and then coursing through my limbs and then my hands and feet. I also felt like something was pushing on me, keeping me down. I felt like I weighed 1000 lbs. I was never afraid, however, and I just started to pray silently. I prayed for Grandma most especially but I also started to pray for my family, for my friends, etc. I do not remember specifically everyone or everything that I prayed for, but I remember frequently praying, " It's not about me God, but about You and your plan for me. Take me! Use me for your Glory!"
After a while, all the trembling and heavy breathing stopped and I was at absolute peace. I still felt that weight upon me though, keeping me from getting up. It wasn't a crushing weight, meaning I couldn't get up even if tried which I probably could have, but it was a weight that gently told me, "Stay down for a little bit longer." I was so engulfed by this state of peace that at times I couldn't feel my hands or my legs and feet. It felt like I was spirit, not body. I remember I was so in awe of God at this point that I lovingly and sincerely confessed to Him, " Lord I don't need my legs. I don't need my arms. Lord it will be okay if I can't hear. It will be okay if I can't see." As I thought this I immediately opened my eyes to make sure I could see and I still could thankfully. But I closed my eyes and settled down and confessed, "No Lord, I don't need my eyes." I kept continuing to confess other things, "I don't need my family, I don't need my friends, I don't even need Grandma as long as I am with You. All I need is You." I realized that everyone and everything else are wonderful and beautiful blessings that God has put into my life. I remember sincerely praying, " God just keep me here if it is Your Will. I know that if I just lay here but still have You, then everything will be okay." I even remember singing in my head Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. "If I lay here..If I just lay here..would you lie with me and just forget the world."
After a while I kind of awoke from my state of absolute peace and started becoming more aware of my surroundings. I knew I had been lying on the ground for a long time because I started to hear people open and close doors to leave the Church. I opened my eyes and saw that I was the only one still lying down on the floor. I noticed that "A" was praying in the pew behind me. We were the last two left in the Church. She saw me with my eyes open and asked how I felt. I told her "I feel like I weigh 1,000 lbs." Those were the first words spoken since before Father put his hand on me.
A long pause took place before "A" talked to me again because I closed my eyes and started to pray again. I opened my eyes later on and noticing this "A" asked me, "What was your experience?" I told her everything to the best of my ability. There were times as I was speaking, where my body would tremble and shake, just like when Father first laid his hands on me, and I would have to pause sometimes until the trembling eased up a bit. I was also overcome with tears sometimes while talking to her. After I told her my experience, She asks,"Dom, How long do you think you have been laying down there?" I had no idea. She said "almost 2 Hours." I couldn't believe it.
